Out Of My Mind
by whatshewrotex
Summary: RaphxOFC. M! Kyo has been dealing with what she thought was a mental illness/inner demon for a year now, but it's not always as it seems. During a black out, she is lead to a deep part of the sewer, leading her to meet a group of Turtles. Dark, twisted, not for kids. This is my first fic, but you can totally rip me apart. I've been a reader for along time, so I hope you guys enjoy!


Hey guys! I am a long time fan of fanfiction in general. Heh, punny. Anyways, I've been an avid reader for several years, but I've never wanted to write one. There was such a lack of fanfiction, (side note: not quality... quantity, mostly every fic I read (in this fandom) was extremely well written and left me wanting more) so you could see my dilema. So I want to write, and I actually got a few inspirations for stories through songs I have listened too. If you guys like this, maybe I will like do more or something. Don't go easy on me though. If it sucks, tell me, I will go back to reading and you guys can post more stories. ^_^

This one features Raph and an OFC and the crew too, that's just the love interest. Whateves. It's inspired from the song Out Of My Mind by B.o.B and Nicki Minaj. Not to into her verse, but B.o.B and that bass, unf. It's about a girl dealing with an inner demon (hallucinating, hearing things, talking to somebody who isn't there. Could possibly be possessed if you want it to be like that.) Anyways, it's gonna be different than the homeless chick thing, which I love, just wanted to see this. She's gonna run into the turtles and it'll just spiral out of control from there. Okay, I'll stop rambling now and give it a go. Sit back, relax and enjoy the shit show. POVS WILL CHANGE.

OUT OF MY MIND

Warning: M contains a lot of fucked up shit and swears. Probably sex, I dunno.

**KYO_**

Where the fuck am I? I hear a drip in the distance, but I can't see shit. My head is swimming in the thick air. Oh god, I must have blacked again. My eyes are adjusting now...

"AM I IN THE FUCKING SEWER?!" I yelp, unexpectedly and fall flat on my ass up on the ledge.

I wish I could explain myself better, but trying to recall what happens during black outs takes many days. And it's not like I'm on drugs or anything, I have a fucking issue, man. I have a voice there, always present, in the back of my mind. Sometimes he even appears in front of me, driving me to do things. Kill. Steal. Hurt. Destroy. He fights me for power and sometimes he wins. He plays tricks on my mind and I see what isn't there. And then when I wake up, after its all over, I could be anywhere. The sewer is a first though.

Murderer making innocent hands red. My innocent hands... I look down and notice my forearms and hands lathered in sticky redness. I gag, then hurl into the sewage below. Convenient. It is the worst when he makes me do that. I dry heave a few more times, before washing my hands in the water as well, trying my best to get the blood off. Probably isn't smart, but I can't stand the fucking sight of it. Makes me wonder if this is even real life.

Whose blood even is it? I look around and see no trace of any other person, or reachable man holes for that matter. Looking up at the ceiling now, I wonder how the fuck I got down. That must of hurt. Too bad I don't feel anymore, thanks to Zeph. Oh, Zeph is the guy I've been talking about, the guy that makes me do things when I get so exhausted I can't fight him anymore. He's always with me, though, talking, shouting at me. In fact...

"Kyo! Kyo! Are you even listening?" Zeph's words shook me from my mind and my pupils pin pointed on the dark, tall figure standing not 2 feet from me.

"What?" I ground out, still feeling nauseous and not wanting to deal with his shit.

"You have to follow me if you want to get out!" He was laughing now, in my face. The thought of having to rely on Zeph to get out of a particular terrifying turn of events made my stomach roll again. I didn't offer a response, just pushed past him to start my walk down the sewer.

"No, Kyo, it's this way!" He shouted, patience slipping already. I choose to ignore him as my mind drifts back, trying to remember. I remember getting out of the shower and putting my pajamas on. I remember taking my pills. I remember watching the Harry Potter Marathon on ABC Family. Then its like my mind turns off. Is that sleep? Couldn't be, because I'm fucking exhausted. And cold. I look down at myself again, seeing now that I'm still in my pajamas and not wearing a coat or anything. Great, fucking peachy! My life is the bomb, can't you tell? I huff out in frustration, as the constant buzz that is Zeph comes back into tune.

"Kyo why aren't you fucking listening to ME!" He screamed, rushing forth towards me with all of his energy. I almost fell forward.

"Leave me ALONE!" I screamed as I spun around, glaring at the black figure that follows me everywhere."I just want to go home!" I spun back around and started to run down the way.

**RAPHAEL_**

I was on watch duty. Our enemies were worse now than they ever were and I needed to be sure of my family's safety. There ain't no rest for the wicked, so I was always on high alert at night, while my brothers slept peacefully in their beds. Leo watched during the day, I watch during the night. Our family is everything, we've agreed on at least that.

An echo of a woman rips through the tunnels, startling me. My sais and body immediately at stance. Relaxing a moment, just to press the alert button. There was somebody else in our labyrinth, our home and we needed to defend it at all costs. It was our sanctuary.

Leo joined me first, looking tired but ready for action, Donnie was behind him, holding a laptop in one hand while typing with the other, and Mikey dramatically crawled behind him, before flopping on his back and waiting for Donnie to assess the situation.

"Its a girl..." Donnie said, sounding mesmerized, I could see his eyes getting bigger as he stared into the glowing screen. The three of us shoved our way to get a look as well, both of my brothers suddenly perky. Its not often you see a girl wandering the sewers.

Looking at the screen now, I could see why Donnie's eyes got so big. This girl was fucking hot, minus all of the scratches, cuts and bruises... which for me made her even hotter. And she was... in a night gown? Which hugged her curved, solid body perfectly. I could feel my member twitch at the sight. Her face was so soft, brown curly locks and freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Her piercing green eyes...

"Dibs!" I heard Mikey yell, getting ready to run down the sewer towards the girl. Jealousy flared up inside me and I growled, grabbing him by his shell and slamming him on the ground. It was Leo who spoke next.

"She must be lost... though it's odd she's in the sewer. I smell something fishy. I say we just lock it up and wait til she leaves."

I stared at him in disbelief. He just wanted to leave this barefoot, scantily clad woman roam the sewers of New York in the middle of Winter?

"You've got to be outta your mind!" I yelled to my older brother, anger burning a hole in the back of my throat, ready to escape. "We can't just leave the girl out in the cold like this, Leo!"

"She could be a risk to our safety, Raphael." Leo responded in his Big Brother voice, trying to sound intimidating. I hated when he acted like that!

"She could die!" I fired back, getting ready to mouth off to my older brother, before Donnie intervened.

"Raph is right, Leo... it's just one girl and she's likely to get hypothermia if she doesn't warm up soon. And you know as well as I do, it's a hour trip for a human to get down to this level..."

Leo let out an annoyed sound, before Mikey also joined our side. Leo looked defeated. Mutiny. Big brother doesn't always know best. By now, Donnie had pin pointed her location and we began to make our way towards her.

****TIME LAPSE****

We could hear her in the distance, every so often she would shout phrases, words. The closer we got, we could hear her low murmur, discussing things with herself. Things like:

"Leave me ALONE!"

"Damn, where am I?"

"Shut up, Zeph.."

"AM not!"

"I will not trust you, that's for damn sure..."

Who was she talking to? It was getting louder as we came out to a different tunnel. We were on a ledge, high above the one this mysterious woman was walking down.

"I'm never going to get out of here..." She whimpered, finally coming into view. She was even more gorgeous in person. I could feel myself begin to sweat and I can only imagine how my brothers felt, but I couldn't take my eyes off her to look. She parked herself down below us, legs swaying over the edge, above the water below.

In person, I could tell that she was in bad shape. Finally, I tore my eyes from her and looked to my brothers. They were all staring at her. Donnie was studying her, trying to figure out who she was and what she was doing here. Luckily for him, she seemed to be talking to something.. and she wasn't agreeing with anything this something was saying.

"Does she have an ear piece in?" I find myself whispering to my brothers as Donnie analyzed her.

"I can't tell, her hair is in the way." He replied and we all stared at her for a few more moments, before I got tired of waiting. It was time to confront this girl, Leo was right, it did smell fishy. I hopped down from my ledge and landed across the way from her, sais pointed towards her menacingly.

"Who are you?" I growled out, I could he Mikey quietly comment on my "Batman" voice. The girl looked up at me, then laughed a good, honest laugh. A tear even fell from her eye.

"Fuck you, Zeph! I don't care if you make me see fucking Atilla the Hun, I am not going the way that you want. You just want me to do bad again and I won't do it. SO take your hallucinations and shove them up your shadowy asshole!" She yelled into the air, falling back on the concrete with a thud. "Shit, if you wanted to scare me, you could have made him a little less attractive. Maybe I would have complied." I felt a blush creep over my face, but I was too shell shocked to know what to say to this girl. She hadn't even addressed my question to her. By this time, my brothers had now joined me, also in wonder on what was going on in the brunette's head.

"Ma'am...?" Leo started, stepping forward. "I know that we're different, but we're not a hallucination, we're really here." She looked up at him, eyes jumping from him to the rest of our faces, counting. "What is your name? And who are you talking to?"

**KYO_**

I stared forward at Zeph's creations. They were marvelous, I will have to give him that. The first down stirred an emotion that I felt in the pit of my stomach. His stare, his voice, that smirk. Was this too a trick? I had flipped back, after my rant at Zeph for trying to make me see his way. But now, now I was propped up staring. They were so... cool. This was a trick, it had to be Zeph fucking with me in some way... I couldn't trust anything right now.

The blue-masked creature, I recognized to be turtle-ish, spoke next. I looked at him intently, while Zeph whispered over and over again to stop speaking with these people. Even though, I wasn't. He kept urging me to keep moving. I stayed put.

"K-Kyo... Kyo is my name," I said, feeling like it had been so long since I used my voice, when in fact I was just speaking. They say they are real? I doubt it. I doubt Zeph. This is a trick, but I will play along, just to see the plot. "You should know Zeph, he created you, right?" I said, looking to the red one. "Seeing as your aren't real, he's just trying to trick me because he wants me to do what he wants. Well it ain't gonna happen!" I yelled, eyes snapping to the apparent leader in Blue. He looked uneasy, like he didn't know what I was talking about. Could they really be real?

"If you're real then let me touch one of you." I said skeptically, slowly climbing to my feet. All four of them were on my side of the sewer in a second and my back pressed the wall. Closing my eyes, I reached out. I could feel their breath on me, as I pressed my hand into the plastron of the nearest one. Hard, real. My eyes snapped open and I pressed my frame back into the wall. They must of sensed my discomfort and backed off, slowly and I muttered lowly. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mikey, this is Donnie, that's Leo and that over there, in the red is Raph! What are you doing down here all alone?" Mikey asked, edging closed to me and I flinched back. Not because of his appearance, but because it was... real. I hadn't seen real in a long time. I've secluded myself from contact with any intelligent life form, due to my inability to control the demon within.

"I-.. I don't know." I said, it was the truth too. I had been trying to figure that our for a while now. Mikey was pulling my hair up now, and I instantly punched him dead center in the face. From the ground, he confirmed my lack of ear pieces.

The purple one, Donnie had not taken his eyes off of me. "Kyo, is it?" He said, I nodded. "Do you mind if we take you back to our home, so I can properly look at your wounds and get you warmed up?" His voice sounded friendly, I wanted to trust, but part of me pushed away from that thought. Trust wasn't the way to go about this. I can barely confirm this isn't another one of Zeph's tricks. Luckily, he had quieted down, tired of being ignored. I'm sure he'll come back with vengeance later.

".. Yea, I will come with you guys. No funny business though. I don't care what you are, you don't want to battle me. I'm practically indestructible." It was also true. I've walked out of 4 story windows and lived, thanks to Zeph finally driving me over the edge. However, I was unlucky enough to survive.

They nodded at me, then Donnie and MIkey started walking, while Leo and Raph waited for me to go. I trudged along behind the other two turtles, crossing my arms under my breasts.

**RAPH _**

Leo and I both watched as she walked passed us. She look scared shitless, but he voice was strong and she put up a front, that was for damn sure. As she walked ahead of us, I heard her mumble to herself about trying to remember something. Leo and I looked at each other then back at her, as she battled with herself.

When we got back to the lair, Donnie immediately took her for testing and Leo to speak with Master Splinter. They both emerged about an hour later and we all sat down around the kitchen table.

"Okay, our friend Kyo has some serious issues. 3 broken ribs, a concussion, broken ankle, a wide array of bruised and lacerations, I, up until 10 minutes ago, had no idea how she managed to walk so flawlessly back in the sewers." He pause and I motioned my hand, urging him to press on. "I found that there is something... possessing her... through blood work. It seems as though the Kraang have implanted something in her brain and she believes she's gone out of her mind. She doesn't know anything about the Kraang. All she knows is that she hears a voice, Zeph, who constantly wanted her to do evil. And she said, when she blacks out, anything could happen... Hence waking up in the sewer. Now, I have her getting prepped for surgery, I'm going to removed the chip planted by the Kraang and destroy it. Hopefully that will fix her... issue." Donnie sucked in a deep breath and looked to his brother's slack-jawed faces. This was a new low, even for the Kraang. No wonder she ended up down here. They were going to unleash her. And as she said, she was damn near indestructible. Donnie then informed us, she was likely to be overcome by Zeph during the surgery, so he needed all of us to hold her down. We agreed, the proceeded to get washed up for Donnie's procedure.

**KYO_**

As Donnie walked from the room, I let out a little sigh of relief. Not that he wasn't nice, it's just that it was nice to be alone, quiet...

"Kyo, we need to leave this place, kill these turtles, make turtle soup. Kill and blow this place up. Kill. Kill." I slammed the palm of my hand into my head, in attempt to halt his voice.

"Shut. Up." I ground out, looking back as Donnie reentered. He explained to me that I was possessed by something and that he could remove it. He said that I would have to fight it, fight Zeph for as long as possible so he could safety remove it.

"It easier to fight him awake." I said, he looked at me grimly.

"Its brain surgery."

"I can handle it.. just anything to get him out of my head... I- I don't want to wake up in blood anymore..." I choked back a sob, trying not to show weakness, trying not to let my voice crack. This is when I noticed the other turtles in the room. They all seemed to display sympathy for me. I frowned, shaking off this weak persona I seemed to be building up. "Just do it."

"They'll have to hold you down, I need you perfectly still."

"Fine." I said, as Donnie showed me where to lay. Raph sat on my back, making it difficult to breathe, but I could tell it wasn't his entire weight. One by one, they piled on top of me, Raph holding my head in place as Donnie put some numbing solution on me and turned on the saw. I closed my eyes and thought of a happy place and focused on the words Zeph was screaming at me. He was louder than the saw, so it actually helped me. He screamed a number of vile things, trying to dive into my nervous system and take over my body, but I fought him tooth and nail, blocking his every attempt.

And then suddenly, silence. Then pain, severe pain. I cried out, tears pouring from my open eyes. I could feel pain, I could actually feel it! I sobbed harder, the sting overwhelming me as Donnie slipped a mask over my face and I slipped off into blackness.

**RAPH_**

After Donnie stapled her head shut, he crushed the pink chip he had pulled from her brain stem. We carefully moved her to a bed and Donnie hooked her up to a bunch of machines. Kyo looked so peaceful, beautiful... I couldn't stop staring.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Mikey beat me to it, my eyes shot to Donnie.

"We'll have to see...", he said, taking a Q-Tip and wiping under her finger nails. "She said she woke in blood she said... I want to know who the Kraang forced her to kill. He threw the sample into one of his many gadgets before dismissing himself to go shower. Leo and Mikey also decided to leave, Mikey looking terrified and Leo offering to play him in his favorite video game. Doing what a brother would do after a traumatic event. I sat down in front of the paled beauty, watching her chest rise and fall.

I couldn't deny this unbelievable urge to destroy each and every Kraang I come across, from now on. I couldn't explain the tightness in my chest watching her, since the moment I saw her, I felt drawn to her. Like I needed to protect her for the rest of her life, make sure she never had to suffer like this again. My animal instincts stating the obvious in the back of my mind. Mate. Mate. Mate.

I stared at her for a while longer, tossing the idea back and forth in my mind if she could actually want me back. Foolish. How could this piece of fine art, tattered as she currently was, even think of being with a monster like me. We're just mutants. I tell Donnie this all the time, but I can't help the feeling that stirs within the pit of my stomach.

I closed my eyes as Donnie rushes in, eyes wide. "Raph! You aren't going to believe this.. Leo! Mikey!" Donnie yelled, fumbling with the papers in his hands as if to check the information over again. Once we assembled, he continued. "You won't believe... this is Shredder's blood!" We stared at him, unbelieving as he had said we would be.

**KYO_**

My eyes fluttered open, slowly adjusting to the light around me. I heard a few muffled words, but it was so cloudy...

"Shredder."

That name, it struck something in my core, I gasped out as the scene displayed itself in front of my eyes.

_As I rode him, still wearing my skimpy gown, I had put on before I relinquished control to Zeph. I pulled a dagger from my garter. Driving it into his neck, I came, blood spurting down my arms. His eyes never left mine and I watched the life slowly drip out of them._

_"Pervert. I'm 16." I spit in his face and shoved him back on the bed in the cheap motel. I stood, wiping the blood of my dagger on my inner thigh, before sheathing it. _

I let out a harsh scream, causing my head to pound even harder. All of the boys focused in on me. "S-Shredder.." I choked out, sobs wracking my body.

_A limo rolled up to me, window down._

_"Girl, get in the car, I have all you could possibly want in here."_

_"What is your name?"_

_"You can call me Shredder."_

Raph was at my side, trying to calm me down but there was no use. The memory of the murder flooded back to me. My shameless adultery with that pervert, letting him fuck me so I could kill him. Zeph dragged me into this mess and here I am to deal with the remains. The scarred memories that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Even now, after Zeph is gone, I am still left with his suffering.

"I killed him." I said, before dry heaving, the puking up some stomach acid onto the floor. I cringed, my whole body in a tremendous amount of pain. The bowed their heads, knowing this. I could see the relief in their eyes, that it was Shredder I had killed and not an innocent being. In fact, joy that he was gone. But all I felt was remorse.

**RAPH_**

That's my girl! Killing Shredder! I wonder how she did it, he's one tough fucker! He won't haunt our family anymore... Not that the Kraang isn't enough of a problem, it's nice to hear that one foe is off our backs.

But how can I be happy, when my mate is in so much physical and mental pain, just before me? Clearly she's coming to terms with the murder, it must be all flooding to her now. It must be overwhelming, over stimulating. Too much for her to take, in fact, she passed out shortly after.

Concern for my mate washes over me, and I ask Donnie if I could take her to my room, to watch her there, so they can sleep. After a short debate, he agreed, and we moved her to my room. My brother's look at me with questioning glances. Normally I'm so distant from outsiders. They don't understand yet.

Once I'm sure my brothers are asleep and Kyo is stable, I leave for Master Splinter's room. Before I can knock on the wooden piece of the paper door, he has instructed me to come in. He is aware of the situation, Leo had brought it to his attention immediately upon arrival. But there was more. There was me and my needs and feelings. I couldn't talk to my brothers, they wouldn't understand. My only hope was Master Splinter.

So I told him exactly how I felt and he smiled with a glint in his eye. He told me not to worry and to take it slow, but he never disapproved. My heart sang. I felt like the cheesiest pizza money could buy, but I was so damn... happy. Now all that was left, was to get her to feel the same.

When she awoke, I offered her some water. I lent an ear as she spoke of some of her more difficult memories, regarding Zeph's use of her body. Of other men's use of her body. My temper flared drastically, but I held it together for her. I held her together as well, as she unleashed a whole years worth of tears. Donnie came in after a while of slow, broken sobs and gave her some morphine, which knocked her back out.

When she awoke again, she told me nobody would love a tainted murderer like her. This was my chance, right here. Inexperienced with woman, I dove in, lips mashing to hers, praying she would push hers back. As I began to pull away, she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to her. The instinct in me was cheering, satisfied with kissing it's mate. My mate.

"My mate..." I whispered and she looked at me, wide eyed, terrified and... lustful?"

After a moment, she spoke. "I like the sound of that." I closed my eyes and laid back on her bed, pulling her against my body gently. She hummed softly and laid her head down on my cracked plastron, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**KYO_**

It was embarrassing to break in front of these boys I barely knew. I was thankful Raph, the one I had immediately sensed a connection to, shaded me in his room before I passed out. When I woke, I felt the incredible urge to come clean about it all. This past miserable year of my life. I told him everything. I told him about Shredder and other men that Zeph forced me to use my body as a ploy to kill them.

I could feel him tense at the mention of sex with other men, but he held me tight and told me it wasn't my fault and didn't berate me for crying. He let me cry myself good and tired, and when Donnie came in and gave me the morphine, I was out. When I woke, I told him my deepest concern. Being able to find somebody accepting of this part of my life, and the years of PTSD to probably follow and actually love me. I almost started to cry, when his hard lips smashed into mine. Shocked, I froze on the spot. I never even thought something so magnificent could have any interest in a weak thing like me.

In my thoughts, he pulled away, but I grabbed him and smashed our lips together once more. He told me he was my mate, I believe on accident, because a blush spread from his cheeks almost immediately. Tears prickled my eyes and my own blush appeared.

"I like the sound of that." I whispered, nuzzling up to his solid body, just before passing out.

THE END.

How bad was it? Please be honest. I'm gonna run it through a read over once more. As you can see, I decided to go with a weirder route. Not so much a demon as mind control, still kind of a demon though. I really hope you like it! I'm gonna post it as a one shot... if you want me, just let me know. Maybe give me a song for a situation you want. I have a few more ideas, but idk if this is even good, so please comment! Thanks!

Oh, and I apologize for any missed spelling errors!


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